"I wanted to capture myself before my past forever leaves me, but have something to remember it 
by 20 years down the road"


Participating in Fully Disclothed was an amazing experience. I will never forget it.


It felt like at shoot’s end I knew Liza, my photographer, for at least a dozen years – the intimacy between us flourished because I felt liberated. Observing the difference in conversation subject, 

my body position, how often I stood up, and the method with which 

I shuffled my entire body when I became uncomfortable with my legs crossed for safety, before and after my clothes came off painted a beautiful picture.


I took part in this project because I wanted to memorialize myself. Right now I am going through a detailed life of transformation: shedding old, unhelpful relationships (and their included baggage), spiritual stagnation, physical unhealthiness, addiction, and suicidal ideation caused by a profound hopelessness towards the future while improving my relationships with people who matter the most, rekindling a relationship with my family, developing and practicing 

a very healthy physical lifestyle, persistently monitoring and micromanaging my mental health, seeking medical attention 

when needed, and becoming a Reiki Master. I wanted to capture myself before my past forever leaves me, but have something to remember it by 20 years down the road, or in the unfortunate case of developing a degenerative brain disease.


"It was very difficult for me to divorce nudity and sexuality until I took part in this shoot."


I shared many things with my photographer, including things that many people don’t know about me. She saw one thing that most people don’t: my piercings and scars. Each one on my body has symbolism behind it, including one to memorialize my wild hidden sexuality. It was very difficult for me to divorce nudity and sexuality until I took part in this shoot.


There are many things I keep hidden because I carry shame and have trouble being vulnerable. When I took my clothes off I giggled and felt my heart palpitate. Then I said to myself, “Stop being a baby, you can do this. Just do it, now!” and ran back to my bed and 

sat down with my legs crossed at once. Liza was the first woman to ever see me naked alone. I felt like I was a teenage boy again revealing myself to someone for the first time, including the heavy breathing, sweating, confusion, excitement, and adrenaline all in one. I quickly remembered that babies are born into the world without clothes. Children do not have shame for being naked, so I will take that into account.


"I have an assumption that being vulnerable means I am altering a relationship in a negative way."


I have an assumption that being vulnerable means I am altering a relationship in a negative way. I have worked towards allowing myself to become vulnerable and perpetually correcting an assumptive distrust towards another person. Being vulnerable develops a positive rapport with another person according to psychological studies. Doing this shoot helped me feel, for the

first time in a long time, a sincere connection with another human being while existing in a vulnerable state thus reinforcing the truth behind what psychologists have been saying all along.


For the few days after the shoot, I felt much more confident,

noticed I was able to assert myself in argumentative situations, 

lived more in the moment, smiled more, and felt much more at peace with myself.


I very much enjoyed taking part in this project because I learned so much about myself. I was also able to remember some large healthy generalizations towards humanity, shattering many preconceived ideas I had about it before.


Thank you for giving me this gift.












Using Format